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Out and About
Wednesday, January 22, 2014 * : Ooh, can we see Sydney nex'? [They are at the Sydney Opera House.] * : Omg, that's so cool! * : We've got thousands of backgrounds! [They are seen in front of the Mandelbrot set.] * : Ooh! * : An' you own this photo booth yerself? * : Of course! I got it from all the money we stole as the Gang of * : Hey hey hey, let's, like, not remind ourselves of badder times. * : Badder, really? * : Sorry, I couldn't think. * : Y'know, my whole place is getting used. * : Really? For what? * : Miss Nairobi! * : That sounds suspiciously like, like, a beauty pagent. * : It's a new one. Apparently they choose one person out of our city's international communities, and they represent them! * : Omg, that could totes be me! I'm a person in the international community, where can I, like, sign up? * : Oh, Match. * : Don't know about that. * : Well, 'twas nice seein'ee outside o' ther 'igh school! * | }}: Bye! * : I've got to be in it! * : I thought you hated competitions. * : I did, but then I joined BFDI, and then I saw how ugly everyone is. Now I may not be good in, like, those kinds of competition, but a beauty one I'd sure win. * : If'ee says so! I can't participate; I'm a native! Besides, pageants're only good fer exploitation o' people's beauty skills. * : See? This is why I, like, want to join! * : Let's start our meeting with a quick attendance. Sio? * : Here! * : Shieldy? * : Here! * : Sharpener? * : It's sort of a given I'm here. I mean, I just got out of this class. * : Okay, then. Map? * : Here! Now can I use the computer? * : Sure! No one's going to judge you! [Enter Yaretzi.] * : Oh! Issie, you're here for some reason. * : Remember when I was sick yesterday? Turns out I missed a test! Is Mr. Kolemak in? * : No, he's usually at the Football Appreciation Club, so Lego's in charge. * : Cool! * : Y'know, I took that test yesterday! Want to know the answers? * : No, it's okay. I'd rather take my tests fair and square. Plus, cheating is such a dad thing. * : It's true. * : Er … I guess you could just, like, sit down and take it. We'll speak really quietly. Right? * : RIGHT! Sorry, I couldn't resist. * : So does anyone have an idea for a new project? * : I was thinking of the wearable headphones. * : Hey, I've got something! How about a wind-up bubble machine? But instead of making that annoying Recovery-Centre-ish sound, it speaks Farsi! [Awkward silence.] * : So how about those wearable headphones? * : We can't use that; it's been patented. * : Wait. Aren't headphones already wearable? * : No, these ones, you literally don't have to put on when you want to start listening! Like, they're already there! * : That's so cool! * : Yeah, hopefully someone can make it. * : Alright, I'm done with my test! What should I do now? * : I'll just write Kolemak a note you've taken it. * : Okay! [She walks out of the class.] * : [to herself] Wearable headphones. Those sound absolutely coolio! * : Ooh! Apparently this migh' be fer me. * : Who's it from? * : I don' know. Unknown caller! * : It's not me this time, I swear. [She picks it up.] * : 'Ello? … Aye, this is she. … Seriously? … Okay, I've got no job, wot shall I do? … Saturday a' 18:00, got'e. … Bye! [She hangs up and notices Sio next to her.] * : Oi, I didn' see ye! * : Oh, just checking to see if you said "goodbye" at the end. * : Y'din't 'appen ter 'ear wot I's on the phone for, though, yeah? * : All I heard was Saturday at 18:00. * : Okay. I'll tell'ee all a' dinner. * : And that's the difference you have to know if you want to be an expert prankster just like me. [Enter Sio.] * : Guys, I've got important news! * : Me too! A stinkbomb has a little latch at the end so it can get the stink out, and a bad-taste bomb has a switch. * : Latch, switch … that's true education right there. * : Hey, Mum's got some news, but she's not telling us until dinner. * : I bet it's girl stuff. * : It must be really important, and by important, I mean, something that's going to make her happy and not us. * : Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better re-dust the couch for the fourth time. [Exit Sio.] * : [sigh] He's been like this all week! * : We've got to get him inventing. * : Yeah. I got three boring lectures today! One from Sio, one from you, and one from fourth-wall class! * : Boring! * : Don't worry, once dinner comes, what Mum's going to tell us is going to trigger Sio's invention skills. * : And dinner's going to come like this. * : HOW? * : I never said I was failing that! * : QR, you're in first grade. The only way to fail is to not know both the English and Hindi alphabets. * : E'eryone … I've jus' got great news! * : Finally! I've spent three hours analysing your conversation and I've got … you getting accepted to the Rostock University. * : Close … but fergive me h'if I've told'ee too h'early … O, wot'm I kiddin'? I'm already tellin'ee * : Come on, we've got too much filler already! * : Alright! I's jus' been asked to be the professional interpreter a' the Miss Nairobi contest! * : Wow! Wait, what's a Miss Nairobi? * : It's a beauty pageant. * : I was right, it is girl stuff! * : Well, Mum, like you always told us: Beauty pageants are not for us. * : They promote other girls feeling like poo about themselves. * : And the pressure mothers put on daughters there are * : down-right abusive * : and also ex-plo-sative. [The boys look at them, shocked.] * : HOW? * : Sorry, what Mona meant to say was "exploitative". * : Though I'm personally not in'e, le' me jus' says thet I gi' h'all me girls the talk the day I get 'em. Dad's to speak with the boys, but 'e's too lazy ter actually plan it out. [Enter Pen having been spoken of.] * : Did someone call a Pageant Organiser? … Wow, that sounded really weird. [A. R. I.] * : You're organisin' the pageant? * : Of course! Now that I've been promoted in Organiser of International Events at the embassy, my first job is the Miss Nairobi pageant. * : You … won't be judgin', will'ee? * : No, just organising. And I can see it now … there'll be a live band, a translator, a chief vexillologist … * : Wait, a translator? * : Yeah, y'know, to help the contestants and the audience understand what they're saying up there. You'd be perfect for the job, honestly. * : I know. * : Which is what I thought when I sent my employees to call you about your new pageant job! * : Omg, thet was you? * : Yeah! I even remembered your heart-to-heart, y'know, the one where you said beauty pageants are not for the girls because they promote other girls feeling blank on us, and all the pressure the mothers put on their daughters is downright abusive and also exploitative. * : Yeah, that! * : Omg omg omg, we're goin' to be the Miss Nairobi crew! [She jumps up and down in happiness.] * : JUMP WITH ME! [Pen starts jumping.] * : Wow. * : I haven't seen them that happy since that mall lady recognised them from high school. * : I hate to burst your bounce, but may I be excused? * : Of course. This is a free-range dinner table. * : Yay! Ximena, Javier, come with me. * : But I haven't * : Just come. * : What is this? * : Did we ruin your coolness or something? * : No, but I need you to ruin someone else's. * : Ooh, I'm good at that! * : So, here's the thing … my music class is having a singing contest. * : Cool! I for one love music! * : I know that, and that's why I chose you and Mona to be my band. * : Band? * : Yeah! You play that clarinet thing still, right? * : No. Madame Narlé refuses to teach me after you locked her in our storage closet. * : Me? Hey, I was just following orders. * : I can't perform in front of young, cool people. If it's an audience of the band kids' parents, I'm fine, but a concert like this? I'm out. * : No, you've got to play with me! * : You've got friends; can't you just be in a band with them? * : No, Popsicley, Chocolatey and Boat are in their own band, and the song they're choosing is a medley of Canadian folk songs! * : What's wrong with that? * : Noth I mean … it's just … absolutely not! * : Fine, I'll join your band. I'll even bring my chalumeau, if I can remember the notes. * : I guess if she's in, then I'm in. * : Good job, Avi, getting out of your comfort zone all by yourself. * : Technically, you made me. * : Yeah yeah yeah … but can you do me a favour? Don't tell Lallie about this; she'll kill me. * : Don't worry. I won't. * : Are you sure? * : Yeah, you're really bad with secrets, to be honest. * : Am not! * : What about last year's headline: "Government gems spilled by six-year-old royal granddaughter". * : They were wrong! I was seven! * : Whatever, just, like, don't tell her. * : Tell me what it is! * : What what is? * : You have a secret! * : I do not! * : Yes you do! * : No I don't! * : Yes you do! * : No I don't! [As this is happening, Zorah and Yaretzi are playing on their phones.] * : Hey, Yarisis, can you keep this down? * : I can't! I'm still trying to get the Happy Donkey to the other side. * : Happy Donkey? That sounds really dirty. * : It is. * : What the F, sister? * : Happy Donkey needs to get onto the other side of the mud! * : Oh, should have guessed that. But it's still annoying. * : Okay, I'll get my headphones! [She gets up and looks in her drawer.] * : Can't find them? * : Nope. * : ! If only there were a way for us to have headphones with us all the time! * : Omg, that reminds me of something! At lunch today, I went to Sio's inventing club, and they were talking about inventions, right? * : Sure. * : Then I heard them talk about these headphones that you can wear, and now I know what I want for Hanuchristmas! * : But that's, like, in eleven months. So are Sio and his club, like, making it? * : No, they said because it's patented. * : Yeah, and Sio's club is, like, totally lame. It's a shame you even went there. * : Should I submit it to that inventing website they showed us at school? * : Sure! * : It looks like we've got ourselves a job. Thursday, January 23, 2014 * : Saye, your noise machine really helped us sleep. * : I set it to Wales sounds all night! * : Who knew how easy it was to pronounce Llanfairpwllgwy * : Don't wake me up, I'm still sleeping! * : Okay, we'd better be going n Oh my gosh, what happened here? [Behind Saye's bed are a large amount of wearable headphones. Citlali wakes up.] * : Sio, QR, why are you in our room? * : We came to return your noise machine, but what are those? * : A girl doing beauty sleep, now please go. * : [appearing from the pile with Zorah] Hi! * : Morning! * : How did you get all these? Did you rob the store in the middle of the night? * : Of course not! * : Though that isn't such a bad idea. * : We made these! * : But … they're wearable headphones! * : Yeah! Remember yesterday when I went to your class, and you were talking about inventions? * : Yeah. * : Well, I heard you guys talking about wearable headphones, and I thought, "why don't we make our own" headphones? * : Y- you can't do that! Rule #29 of the Invention Club Rulebook states that you can't be seen making someone else's ideas; they're patented. * : What does patented mean? * : It means [Enter Pencil.] * : Oi, wot's goin' on 'ere? [A.R.I.] * : I sensed tension an' y'know thet might wake the man up. * : Yaretzi and Zorah are distributing patented contraband! * : What? We're not doing it now, we're saving it for school. * : Mummy, what does patented mean? * : Patent, thet's … er … when the governmen' gives rights to inventors s'et they can't sell er reinvent'e. * : So if we sell it … * : You could be h'in trouble fer a long time. * : Well, that's my lesson. Now let's get ready for school! * : Wow, I didn't expect you to say those words! * : Alrigh', you kids 'a' fun. [Exit Pencil. As she leaves, Pen is standing outside the door.] * : Oi, Pen, you're all dressed up! * : I am? Nah, these are work clothes. Come on, we don't want to be late for the pageant! * : Wow, I di'n' expect'ee to says those words! * : I know, it's embarrassing, eh? But right after, I have to make it at work. Don't want to be late! * : Kids, we'll be goin' now, Saye'll take care of'ee, yeah? * : Okay, bye! [A.R.I. Exeunt Pencil and Pen.] * : Alright, everyone, you know the rules! Now that Mum and Dad are gone, I'm in charge! * : Does that mean I can stay home? * : And hide? * : Omg, no! Then, people would, like, have questions! Just do whatever until school starts! [A.R.I. Chaos ensues in the house.] * : Soap fight! * : YAAAAAAAAARG! [QR throws liquid soap down the stairs.] * : Oh, Avi, Mona, I need to talk to you. * : What is it? * : Oh, is this about the performance? * : Yeah! They're moving it to tomorrow night. * : I have to memorise a piece of music by tomorrow night? * : I have to learn how to play chalumeau again by tomorrow night? * : Pretty much! * : I'll do it! * : Wait, what did you say about the performance? * : Nothing! * : Yeah! We are not talking about the song that we * : eaboos are going to sing at the Festival of the Three Lemons next year! * : Good, because for a second I thought you were in a band or something. * : Oh, we are * : Not! Hey, isn't it time for school? * : I'm not falling for that trick again! * : Again? Last time it was a UFO!XXV 0739 * : Wait, it actually is time for school. [The chaos goes outside the house.] * : [crying a bit] Like, who is it? * : Omg, 're'ee cryin'? [Match slams the door open, and she is wearing a big fancy dress.] * : YES! * : Wot 'appened? * : Well, I was looking at the rules for the contest online. * : Wait a sec, you're lookin' a' the rules? The Match I know don' follow no rules, m8! * : I know, but then, like, I literally saw the worst rule ever! * : Which is? * : [appearing from the window] Hey, that's my line!XIV 0740 * : Oi, Eraser! * : Meh! [He retreats from the window.] * : The rule said this: "In order to celebrate the diversity of our city, all pageant contestants must speak the language of their origin!" * : Wot's wrong with 'et? * : I ... signed up for POLAND! * : An' y'ain' Polish, innit? * : Yeah, but I want to speak English, g-ddammit! This isn't Eurovision! As you can tell, my Polish has got really, like, bad! * : An' you've been decided to wear thet why? * : I've been wearing this since last night! Eraser, like, called me sleeping beauty, but I guess he just wanted to [The car horn sounds.] * : 'Old up, Pen! * : Shouldn't he be at work? * : Oh, I stopped 'im o'er jus' to see ye. [They walk to the car.] * : Hey, Mat [He sees her dress.] * : Not. A. Word. [They drive off.] * : Why didn't you just sign up as Canada? That's what I would have done! * : I would, but it was, like, taken by someone else! [Awkward silence.] * : Oi, me driver, where shall we go? * : To the greatest Polish expert in the land! * : This can't be good. * : You're taking me to my mother? * : Yeah, why wouldn't you be screaming? * : I could take the yells, I just don't want to look stupid on live TV, like, y'know ... BFDI. [They pull up to her house.] * : Good luck with my stepmother! * : Oh, shut up. * : Bye! * : See you later, girl! [Exit Match.] * : Not going to lie, but that dress looks hideous on her. * : It do, don'e? * : Are you sure we should do this? * : Of course! This is how inventors get their money after all. * : But what about what Sio sai * : To heck with him! He didn't know how to tie shoes until he invented something that could do it for him, remember? * : Okay, I'll do it. But every pair we sell makes a bit of my heart fall out. * : [laughs] Seriously, you're killing me. * : Omg, what are those? * : These are our very own wearable headphones. They're only one thousand KSh. * : Sounds expensive, but I'll buy it. My teachers are never quiet! [She gives them the money and exits.] * : See? Our first sale! * : She's going to use them for evil! Y'know, I bet she's part of your crew! * : I know her name is Tira Polughvenis, but my friends know not to buy from me. [Enter Chupalla and Lawrenciah.] * : , Sorabuena y Soramala, how much is it for those rectangle things? * : They are only 100 KSh. * : Wow, that's the opposite of ripping us off! * : We'll take four. Each. [She gets more money.] * : See, this is what Dad would like to see. * : All I see is a stack of guilt. * : Well, you're not trying hard enough. * : Good thing you guys are around to help get my band together … Guys? [She looks over.] Are you lip-synching to your own sheet music? * : I'm sorry, but we really need to practise. * : These words are really hard! * : But— * : Here's what we've got so far. Maestro? * : Got it! [They stop as Boat takes out a record player, and she plays the track.] * : What the literally are you singing in the hallway? You are destroying the peace! * : You mean disturbing? * : Yeah! * : Here we go! The Three: Zeemba skrit skrot, nofty zeemba skrit skrot. Zeemba skrit skrot, noppy hawndaray. : Noopy hawndaray namá! : Noopy hawndaray namá! : Zeemba skrit! : Zeemba skrit! * : [spoken aloud] Oh. The Three: Zeemba skrit skrot, nofty zeemba skrit skrot. Zeemba skrit skrot, noppy hawndaray. [Both th the song and record end. Saye applauds.] * : That was a great song! But, like, I feel like I've heard it before. * : Oh, you have! It is the Canadian folk song they call Al … Alow … Alulu … * : [brightly] Alouette? * : I believe that was the name. * Well, those words sounded nothing like "Alouette". * : Hey, we may be Canadian but all I know is English, and all she knows is English and Belgian! * : Belgian isn't a language. * : Hey, I am partially fluent in Fr— [The bell rings.] * : Oh, not the bell! You guys go on, can you, like, cover for me? * : Okay! * : See ya! [As the upper division students exit, the middle ones enter. Saye spots Javier entering.] * : Hey! * : Don't you have class like I do? * : Don't you want to ditch class like I'm doing ... not on purpose of course. * : No, I've got a test. Later, Saye! [Enter Javier into his classroom.] * : Yeah, I'll still bother you! * : How long do these tests even take? … That's it, I'm going in. [She is about to go in, but stops.] * : Wait. [Out of paper, she makes a slip of excuse. Saye enters the classroom, where many students are taking an exam.] * : Is that for me? [She reads the paper.] * : Javier Schreiber, please go up to the front office. [He goes up and Saye closes the door.] * : Aw, seriously? I was taking a test! * : First of all, stop talking like Aunt Needy. [Needle's hand, presumably from above, slaps her.] * : And second, I need to talk about tomorrow night. * : Look, I know you need a backing track, but I'm working on it. * : Well, I need you to make a new one. * : What? * : Popsicley, Chocolatey and Boat go on singing Canadian folk songs! I can't compete with that, what if it's supposed to be symbolic or something? * : Then what should I make? [Saye whispers something.] Category:Episodes Category:New episode